The National Hockey League finally came back into our lives last night. And when we sat down on the couch to watch the first 5 games of the season, we were greeted by an all-too-familiar sound. The NHL theme song on NBC. It’s about the only theme music outside of local stations we’ve heard since at least 98% of the league made their NHL debut.
NBC’s rights deal with the league expires at the end of this season. I know that “money” will ultimately be the deciding factor in which network ends up winning the bid for the next rights deal, but I really think that theme music should play a major role in the decision. I mean, what good will a few billion dollars do the league if its nationally televised games are introduced with an absolutely stupid theme song? So, just to make Gary Bettman’s job a little easier, here’s how it’s done.
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5. NHL versus
The NHL on Versus era coincided with the Guitar Hero craze of the mid-2000s. So make no mistake, whoever came up with this theme song was clearly crushing hours and hours of Guitar Hero . If you listen closely enough, I think you can actually hear Guitar Hero’s knobs smashing in the background.
4. NHL on NBC
At this point I think it might just be due to fatigue. We’ve been hearing this theme for so long at this point. Maybe one day in 2035 we’ll look back and remember this theme song with a ton of nostalgia. But that’s simply not the case today. Make no mistake, this song East the NHL. And you can’t hear it without imagining Doc Emrick wishing you a good afternoon from Joe Louis Arena at 1 p.m. on a Saturday in 2008. But still, I’m done with it at this point.
3. NHL on ABC
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Okay, this is where we start to get to the nostalgia. I can’t read music, but I feel like if I saw the sheet music for this one, the pattern would look like Mike Modano’s jersey flapping behind him in the wind as he rolls on the ice, and Joe Sakic was the conductor of the orchestra. The only reason I have it at 3 is because it also reminds me of Scott Stevens, and fuck Scott Stevens for everything he did to Eric Lindros.
2. NHL on ESPN
Just an all-time jam alert here. Also: has anyone here ever played ESPN NHL 2k5? I took a break from NHL video games between 2014 and 2020. But I have played each of the last two Chel’s. And I still think 2k5 is the best of them all. Well, at least realistic games. NHL Hitz 2002 remains the greatest of all time. But yes. A sick theme song and a sick video game.
1. NHL on Fox
Even just the sound effect of the opening slapshot is enough to put this one at the top of the list. But this musical theme had it all. It even leaned into the style of jock jams. The crazy guitar riff in the middle that makes it feel like you’re in a poorly edited police chase scene from a 90s movie. Also, I know it’s unfair to rate a theme song based on There are other factors not involved in the music itself, but this song is filled with the memory of the glowing puck. This is arguably the most innovative advancement in the history of hockey broadcasting.
