On Wednesday, ESPN released the photo galleries of their upcoming ESPN The Magazine Body Issue. As the Philadelphia Eagles offensive line lived their best lives at the gateway to every fan’s dreams, Christian Yelich was in a dusty warehouse showing off his sculpted physique.
It was glorious. At least, most people thought so: Yelich responded a notable detractor on Twitter with its now emblematic line “Relax Roxane” and by change your walking music to “Roxanne” by The Police.
But it turns out the haters aren’t limited to strangers on the internet. On Monday, the reigning National League MVP was confronted by a hater closer to home: partner in crime/Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield. You see, Mayfield seems to think people want him more than Yelich.
As with the Roxane saga before it, Yelich moved quickly…and this time, he had receipts. Apparently, Mayfield can’t afford to give the world everything: “It’s not for everybody,” Yelich said. “It takes a lot.” Translation: Mayfield doesn’t have what it takes.
It doesn’t matter if you’re Roxane or a Heisman Trophy winner. Don’t mess with Christian Yelich. It won’t end well for you.
